As I reflect upon my life and look at the way that I have developed – how trauma has led me to lead a life of isolation. How it has given me a skewed perception of others and myself. It has prevented me from developing relationships and living a life of fulfilment. As I come to terms with my past, I learn what it is that led me to feel the way I do about myself. Learning of the fear that I have felt regarding relationships, attachment and trust. I learn that I have lived the majority of my life feeling unlovable. It has been a feeling that I have struggled to wash away. All the learning I have done of my sorrow, all the understanding that I have of my trauma, I know that the way that I have been treated and the words of others are untrue. However, they have left an imprint. Despite all that I have overcome, this feeling of inadequacy remains.
Why is it that despite all your working to overcome these feelings they remain? – Why do they linger for years to come?
Why is it so difficult to undo the hurt that people have caused you?