Those who are transgender seem to be handed all that they want, no questions asked. Surgeries, hormones and legal document changes. They are accepted and treated with dignity and respect.
I transitioned at the age of 19 and lived as male for 10 years. Recently, I realised that transitioning was a mistake and that this was something that I shouldn’t have ever done.
As I come to accept what it is that I have done and understand my reasons for deciding to transition and everything that contributed to the way I felt about my body and self. I am often overwhelmed with sadness and grief.
My skewed perception that I grew to develop of myself and my body stem from the abuse and words my mother spewed.
As I learnt of the root cause of my distress, I learnt that this is what caused me to grow a deep desire to be male.
The decision to stop testosterone consisted of far more than simply deciding to stop taking a medication. It consisted of an awakening. Awakening to the root cause of my decision to transition, what it meant to be male and why I so desperately wanted to be someone other than me.
My mind once consumed by the thought of my body and the doing of everything that I could to suppress thoughts of my disdain. Thankfully, I am now free of that.
I am at a place where I want to change the sex on my Birth Certificate back to my birth sex. I have discovered that this is not something that I can do. The legislation does not allow for one to change their gender marker back to their birth sex once it has been changed. I am outraged. All I am doing is trying to recover, put this behind me and live my life. A life where I am free of restriction.
The law allows for transgender people to medically transition without any psychological evaluation. To volunteer themselves to be lifelong medical patients. Yet, here I am wanting to live as my birth sex and I have no legal right to do so.
Do you realise the impact that this will have on my ability to live my life? To go out into the world?
All I am asking for is equality. To be treated fairly. To be given the basic human right to live as my authentic self.
How can they implement a law that is inclusive of transgender people and allow for them to change their Birth Certificate to reflect their gender identity? Yet, here I am wanting to live as my birth sex and I have no right to do so. How can this be?